132) Guinness Book of World Records

I was drifting to sleep one night recently when I was painfully awaken by L. tugging at a hair growing off of my ear.  Felt like a hurtful needle being jammed into my earlobe.  She said something like, "Holy hell, is this thing attached to your ear?"  I glared and mumbled something about going for the guinness book record for longest ear hair, so leave me alone and let me sleep.  She instantly found a pic of the current record holder, pictured just below.

I saw the pic and realized I had no shot at making the Guiness Book for this particular record.  However, there are other records I might be able to compete for or have witnessed personally.  They include:

• Longest Hour of Power - played to Lonesome Dove which is like 8 hours long.  I started playing 4 and half hours in, so I would not be the record holder.  Instead, I witnessed Chris and Britt fight through the last couple of hours, finishing off a 30 pack of beer before our night really even began.
• # of times I saw Braveheart in the theater.  Cody would be proud of me.
• I would say # of times I've seen The Jungle Book, but Cody has me by a couple thousand.  I'm in second, though.
• Consecutive mornings eating donuts.  In Junior High I ate donuts every morning on the way to school.  Every!  Cody threw up donuts on the way to school every morning on the account of his asmars.
• Longest drive in the wrong direction.  One time in college, Tarek and I drove from the lakehouse to Keller Springs with a stop over in Waco.  Because of the long drive we started playing "I'm Thinking of a Person" (similar to 20 questions) outside of Waco.  Because I am not great at paying attention and we were occupied playing a game, we made it several miles north of Fort Worth before we realized we missed our turn.  We were clued in by signs pointing out the number of miles to Oklahoma.  
• Most hours to mow 1 yard for which we were only paid $35.  No doubt we were dumb for misquoting the time needed to mow this particular lot that was over grown by several years.  Chris's mom confronted the jerk after he only paid us $35.  She asked him why he was taking advantage of two dumbass kids.  He answered by saying he needed to teach us a lesson.  That if we were going to misquote something and shake on it, then we'd better honor our side of the arrangement and then learn not to be so dumb in the future.  Back then I thought he was ridiculous.  Now, however, I see his point and can't wait to meet 2 dumbass kids so that I can repay the favor.
• Whiniest dog in history.
• Most wiener dog trinkets in one house.  I feel I can go toe to toe with any old lady who thinks she has more!
• Most broken glass on front porch.  I wish I had a picture of our Alexander house in Waco, which was littered with dozens of parties worth of glass bottles.  Apparently we thought it was okay to simply throw our empties on the ground with no regard to public safety.
• Longest puke and rally.  This one does not belong to me.  Instead, this record is held by Dugat, who helped a handful of us finish a keg by going in a circle with a beer bong.  Dugat puked practically every turn, including the infamous innertube rain storm puke.  But he always came back for more.  He must have puked and rallied at least 7 times.  It would have been smarter to just pour the beer on the ground, but we all wanted to see Dugat puke again.  
• Hours playing civilization.  This one does not belong to me either.  The winner is L.  who began a game when I went out around 6p and she did not finish until I got home close to 4a.  When I got home I was prepared for serious trouble.  Instead she turned from the computer and said, "Whoa, your back already?"
• Largest sandwich award goes to a kid I knew in Junior High.