60) Longtime Friend

Question: Who is the person you have been friends with the longest and still keep in touch with?
Answer: Chris White

Here are some fun facts about me and Chris. Hope his dad does not read this.

* We met in 2nd grade. I was in Miss Leverman's class. He was in Miss Brannock's (or something like that).
* Chris had a slumber party at his house one year and we thought it would be a good idea to have a boxing tournament. I got hit in the face and started crying. I threatened to go home because they weren't boxing fairly. I got as far as getting my shoes on before Chris convinced me to stay. He promised me no one else would punch me in the face.
* I broke my arm in his front yard attempting to do a bicycle kick we saw in the Sylvester Stallone movie Victory. Uncle Eric had to pick me up and take me home.
* While playing laser tag at the mall Chris accidentally punched a girl with his laser gun. She bled all over the mall. After that all guns became attached to the vest they make you wear.
* While playing football together for the SBJH B-Team Chris had a game where he caused a fumble, recovered a fumble, sacked the QB and had a handful of tackles. On the morning announcements I was recognized as a standout player, though I am not sure I even did anything in that game.
* The first girl Chris asked out was named Robin. He called her and asked her out on my kitchen rotary phone.
* In high school Chris put on an Ewok mask and dove down his stairs. Later that night he cleaned up at least three different places in his house where I had violently thrown up.
* Throughout high school Chris was the voice of reason. He fought with me endlessly on how far we would take the activities we participated in. I kept trying to stretch his comfort zone to include morally questionable, potentially illegal behavior while he tried to keep me reeled in to reality. It was this push/pull relationship that most likely kept me out of serious trouble.
* For the longest time Chris's dad thought we were gay. Not sure if he still does.
* We took guitar lessons together with a guy named Wally. I farted once at our lesson and Wally scolded me saying, "Man, don't do that. I like to sniff that chair after my 6 o'clock lesson". I don't think he was kidding.
* Chris and I bought and built hockey goals using PVC pipe. We played after school everyday and managed to get some of our school's most attractive girls to play hockey with us. When Chris was ready to sit he would let his feet roll out from under him and he would land harshly on his butt. He looked funny doing that.
* Chris is talented at doing the twist. Once Craig played Lorelei (from Styx) and danced in Chris's face. Chris broke out a hard core twist that sent Craig unexpectedly backward.
* Chris can open jars better than anyone I know.
* One summer we started a lawn mowing business. We made and distributed flyers and managed to get 1 steady client. We tried to undercut the competition with our $18 package deal.
* Growing up Chris had an unnatural affinity toward Ted Nugent. I had an unnatural affinity toward the Swedish Chef.