58) Obsessive Courtesy Flushers

We have a couple of people here at my office who are obsessive courtesy flushers. That is to say, as they are going #2 they flush every 3-5 seconds, or each time something drips/falls/plops/splashes into the toilet...whichever happens more frequently. Part of me is annoyed by the Obsessive Courtesy Flusher because I feel like they are wasting a lot of water. I am also slightly annoyed because I sit within earshot of the bathroom, so I can hear each time an Obsessive Courtesy Flusher is dropping a load, and I do not like my day interrupted at all by the thought of someone else dropping a load. However, part of me feels like maybe I am the A-Hole that is pissing everyone off by only courtesy flushing when I deem necessary.

Maybe this is the problem. We need to, as a society, develop a universal definition as to the appropriate and necessary times to utilize the courtesy flush. Should we flush each time something exits the bunghole, or should we stop being so sensitive and wait until the entire process is done before considering to flush? And should there be other factors that need to be considered? For instance, if someone is hungover should they flush more. Or if someone ate Taco Bell for their last meal, should they be forced to flush more than someone who last ate Cafe Express? And what are adequate punishments for not adhering to the Universal Courtesy Flush Mandate? As a society we have a lot to consider.

Or perhaps I have spent entirely too much time on this subject already. Nothing like a little bathroom discussion on a Friday afternoon.