I recently joined a coed soccer league and play games on Monday nights. Last Monday one of my female teammates, who I do not know, watched as I prepared myself to defend our opponent who dribbled the ball in my general direction. She said, "Don't be a pussy and go get him." Her words struck an awkward chord with me. Firstly, you do not hear girls say that word often. Secondly, she does not know me. Thirdly, I feel I am not a pussy, especially as it relates to athletics where I do not back down from much.
However, a couple of days have passed and I thought about the possibility of her having a special sense for these kinds of things. I cannot think of any guys who would consider themselves to be a wuss, but there are plenty of wusses out there. Perhaps she sees something in me that I subconsciously block from myself. I have thought about it and have produced the following: A list of how I am a giant wuss.
* I cannot open a jar of pickles to save my life
* I shriek and run away when I see a spider. Especially a big one.
* Could not stand the pain the few times I had any back hairs pulled out.
* When I walk around the attic I am creeped out and overly cautious with every step I take. Part of this is because I am afraid of stepping through the ceiling. Part of this is I am afraid of accidentally waking up a nest of sleeping possums.
* I shriek and run away when I see a snake. Especially a big one.
* I cannot stand for anyone to mess with my cuticles. Just the thought makes me cringe and extremely uncomfortable.
* Seeing a movie with an animal dying makes me cry: Artex, Marley, Hooch, Old Yeller
* Our conference rooms here at the office are so cold that I literally shiver during many of our meetings. I have not resorted to bringing in a special conference room sweater, which should allow me to retain my manhood. However, when I am shivering in there and everyone else is comfortable, I feel like a wuss.
* I shriek and run away when I see a wasp or hornet. Especially a big one.
* I kick and squirm when people touch my feet.
* I cannot handle having my fingers pulled back more than 15 degrees from my palm.
* Messing with a car battery makes me very nervous, as I think no matter how I touch it I will receive an electrical shock.
* My shoulder hurts to an almost unbearable extent 5 minutes after I begin using the weed-eater or blower.
* I cannot walk outside without shoes, and I cannot wear non-flipflops without socks.
* I have to mutilate a package of batteries using multiple sharp tools to get a freaking battery out. I just cannot seem to get the package open using my hands.
* Cannot drink coffee without almost equal proportions of cream and sugar.
* I must avert my eyes during certain types of gory scenes. Specifically when appendages are being slowly cut off, the worst being in the indy horror film Splinter. Also, I must avert my eyes during slow motion replays within NFL games that show gruesome knee injuries.
* I cannot "just deal with it" when my food has been handled by someone I know did not wash his/her hands.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
54) College Memories (Freshman Year)
* Arriving at Penland and immediately seeing Bobby who helped me unload my car to my dorm room.
* Living for a year in my dorm room with the boxes I moved in the same spot where Bobby and I unloaded them.
* A guy on our hall asking Chris for a cigarette while he was in the shower. The guy shamelessly watched Chris shower, and then followed him to our room afterward.
* Playing chess at Common Grounds every night. I drank water, because I could not afford coffee.
* Playing the crap out of Andre's play station in Tarek and Greg's room.
* 2 guys approaching me and Chris at the fountain and asking us if we were The Leapers.
* Listening to Morning Glory, Downward Spiral and Ten ad nausem.
* Boris The Cat
* The lunchroom guy repeating, "We got hammered!"
* Living on pizza and hamburgers.
* A cop knocking on our door while we drank Jim Beam asking if he could jam with us. He was in Chris's face while Chris awkardly avoided breathing, while playing Led Zeppelin.
* Going to Wal-Mart with Nancy and Brandi, and then at the end of the night unsure of whether or not Brandi had a kid.
* Drinking at a stranger's house who lit candles and then threw up while trying not to set his house on fire.
* Drinking Malt Liquor at a stranger's apartment when a giant snake was brought out to play with.
* Greg singing the "Ellen" song.
* The superwoman dive at SMU. She was running because we were in danger of missing the bus after she waited for me to pee on the side of the road.
* Chris and the pot of gold.
* Lance carrying around a book titled, "Awareness."
* Fred leaving our room because The Shining was just too scary.
* Me and Chris growing our hair out. Looked completely horrible.
* Getting pulled over on Valley Mills. I would have gotten away scott-free, but I did not. The cop let me go, and then called me back when he discovered that I had lied to him.
* Going home for Christmas, a month long break, and forgetting to bring home any underwear, socks, or undershirts.
* Going to the first ever dance held on Baylor's campus (First in 150 years) and leaving after 15 minutes.
* Spending countless hours at the Fountain, which is no longer there.
* Being amazed at the number of birds and crickets in Waco.
* Missing the 1995 Pearl Jam concert in Austin. Still have not gotten over this, by the way.
* Tarek using a Loufa in the public shower.
* Medhi calling me and Chris: Beamer and Butthead.
* Staying up all night before my Calculus final in order to avoid failing the class.
* Going to one football game as a member of the Baylor Line. We ran the field, a Baylor tradition that was cancelled because that day saw a member of the band fall off of a ladder due to the Baylor Line running the field. My jersey said "Jefe". Chris's said, "Monkey".
* My spanish teacher approaching me on the first class after the football game exclaiming, "I saw you in your Baylor Line jersey. It says "Jefe". How great!" She had no idea the reference came from The Three Amigos, not my love for Spanish.
* My second semester Spanish teacher calling me "Harby".
* Spending much of my down time on the smoke deck.
* Coming home at 7 am after a Saturday night out. We decided to get breakfast because we knew there was no chance we would wake up by 1p for lunch. We entered the cafeteria completely tired, beat down and sweaty/dirty to discover the cafeteria full of people dressed in their Sunday best before church.
* Dugat and I sending song lyrics we wrote to each other via snail mail. I think I still have many of these letters in my box of writing materials.
* Playing Twisted Metal at Craig's house in Houston over Christmas break. Mark figured out that he needed to put the disc in and turn his Play Station upside down to get his machine to work. Still amazes me that he troubleshooted and figured this out about his Play Station.
* Mark getting really pissed when I used the motorcycle dude to kill him when he was the front end loader.
* Craig and I watching Toy Story in the theater. One of the best movie experiences of my life.
* Opening Christmas presents at my dad's house shortly after watching Toy Story.
* A carton of cigarettes costing only $16
* Seeing Braveheart for the 5th time in the theater with Chris's parents.
* Watching the Academy Awards alone in the common room. I cheered when Braveheart won best picture. I know that is lame, but I truly love this movie.
* Reading several Stephen King novels, including: The Stand, Insomnia, The first three Dark Tower books, and The Shining
* Eating a steak at Mickey's apartment. She cooked it in a broiler and it did not taste very good. But because she was kinda hot and one of the few girls we associated with, I pretended it was one of the best steaks I had ever eaten.
* Switching my major from Math to English simply because I wanted to take a creative writing course.
* Living for a year in my dorm room with the boxes I moved in the same spot where Bobby and I unloaded them.
* A guy on our hall asking Chris for a cigarette while he was in the shower. The guy shamelessly watched Chris shower, and then followed him to our room afterward.
* Playing chess at Common Grounds every night. I drank water, because I could not afford coffee.
* Playing the crap out of Andre's play station in Tarek and Greg's room.
* 2 guys approaching me and Chris at the fountain and asking us if we were The Leapers.
* Listening to Morning Glory, Downward Spiral and Ten ad nausem.
* Boris The Cat
* The lunchroom guy repeating, "We got hammered!"
* Living on pizza and hamburgers.
* A cop knocking on our door while we drank Jim Beam asking if he could jam with us. He was in Chris's face while Chris awkardly avoided breathing, while playing Led Zeppelin.
* Going to Wal-Mart with Nancy and Brandi, and then at the end of the night unsure of whether or not Brandi had a kid.
* Drinking at a stranger's house who lit candles and then threw up while trying not to set his house on fire.
* Drinking Malt Liquor at a stranger's apartment when a giant snake was brought out to play with.
* Greg singing the "Ellen" song.
* The superwoman dive at SMU. She was running because we were in danger of missing the bus after she waited for me to pee on the side of the road.
* Chris and the pot of gold.
* Lance carrying around a book titled, "Awareness."
* Fred leaving our room because The Shining was just too scary.
* Me and Chris growing our hair out. Looked completely horrible.
* Getting pulled over on Valley Mills. I would have gotten away scott-free, but I did not. The cop let me go, and then called me back when he discovered that I had lied to him.
* Going home for Christmas, a month long break, and forgetting to bring home any underwear, socks, or undershirts.
* Going to the first ever dance held on Baylor's campus (First in 150 years) and leaving after 15 minutes.
* Spending countless hours at the Fountain, which is no longer there.
* Being amazed at the number of birds and crickets in Waco.
* Missing the 1995 Pearl Jam concert in Austin. Still have not gotten over this, by the way.
* Tarek using a Loufa in the public shower.
* Medhi calling me and Chris: Beamer and Butthead.
* Staying up all night before my Calculus final in order to avoid failing the class.
* Going to one football game as a member of the Baylor Line. We ran the field, a Baylor tradition that was cancelled because that day saw a member of the band fall off of a ladder due to the Baylor Line running the field. My jersey said "Jefe". Chris's said, "Monkey".
* My spanish teacher approaching me on the first class after the football game exclaiming, "I saw you in your Baylor Line jersey. It says "Jefe". How great!" She had no idea the reference came from The Three Amigos, not my love for Spanish.
* My second semester Spanish teacher calling me "Harby".
* Spending much of my down time on the smoke deck.
* Coming home at 7 am after a Saturday night out. We decided to get breakfast because we knew there was no chance we would wake up by 1p for lunch. We entered the cafeteria completely tired, beat down and sweaty/dirty to discover the cafeteria full of people dressed in their Sunday best before church.
* Dugat and I sending song lyrics we wrote to each other via snail mail. I think I still have many of these letters in my box of writing materials.
* Playing Twisted Metal at Craig's house in Houston over Christmas break. Mark figured out that he needed to put the disc in and turn his Play Station upside down to get his machine to work. Still amazes me that he troubleshooted and figured this out about his Play Station.
* Mark getting really pissed when I used the motorcycle dude to kill him when he was the front end loader.
* Craig and I watching Toy Story in the theater. One of the best movie experiences of my life.
* Opening Christmas presents at my dad's house shortly after watching Toy Story.
* A carton of cigarettes costing only $16
* Seeing Braveheart for the 5th time in the theater with Chris's parents.
* Watching the Academy Awards alone in the common room. I cheered when Braveheart won best picture. I know that is lame, but I truly love this movie.
* Reading several Stephen King novels, including: The Stand, Insomnia, The first three Dark Tower books, and The Shining
* Eating a steak at Mickey's apartment. She cooked it in a broiler and it did not taste very good. But because she was kinda hot and one of the few girls we associated with, I pretended it was one of the best steaks I had ever eaten.
* Switching my major from Math to English simply because I wanted to take a creative writing course.
Friday, October 8, 2010
53) December 18, 1987
Another excerpt from the flower journal. I must admit, so far this is not as rivetting as I thought it would be when I found it. I am sure it gets better as we get into Junior High years...
I've played 2 basketball games and scored 6 points. I also lost my bike. Well, it was stolen. I have been doing terrible in school, but I will improve. Right now I am suprisingly watching Its a Mad Mad Mad Mad World. I'm watching it on cable. I am having trouble sleeping but I'll go to sleep soon. I can play a lot of songs on my Casio Keyboard. Memaw got me that. We opened presents early. Awhile ago I wrote a poem for my dad and Jeanne. This year I decorated our tree. This is our tree, not someone elses. Today was good.
I've played 2 basketball games and scored 6 points. I also lost my bike. Well, it was stolen. I have been doing terrible in school, but I will improve. Right now I am suprisingly watching Its a Mad Mad Mad Mad World. I'm watching it on cable. I am having trouble sleeping but I'll go to sleep soon. I can play a lot of songs on my Casio Keyboard. Memaw got me that. We opened presents early. Awhile ago I wrote a poem for my dad and Jeanne. This year I decorated our tree. This is our tree, not someone elses. Today was good.
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