43) Domesticated Man: Part 2

If you do not remember Domesticated Man: Part 1, refer to blog post 11.

Sundays are the days I catch up on daily life maintenance. It is my domesticated day. Earlier in this blog I mention items around the house that have changed my life for the better, and have ultimately been responsible for making me a Domesticated Man. This posting, however, will be slightly different. Here, I will discuss some of the things I have trouble with and cannot seem to figure out. If anyone reading this has answers, please help me out, as I may be in desperate need.

* Folding Fitted Sheets. I cannot fold fitted sheets to save my life. I try to fold them, but ultimately roll them up in a messy ball and stuff them in the cabinet. They barely stay in there and often fall out when I open the cabinet door for something else.
* Confusing fabric softener with laundry detergent. I once washed 4 loads of laundry using fabric softener instead of detergent. In my defense, the softener company changed the shape and color of their bottle to match the detergent we use. To my detriment, the bottle did have a snuggly bear on it.
* Shirts holding their iron. I iron my shirt, and by the time I get to work my shirt looks like I grabbed it out of the bottom of my dirty clothes hamper before putting it on. I know this is because I use Magic Sizing instead of starch, but I do not like starch.
* Lint rolling. When I lint roll my slacks, or any piece of furniture we have, I get hair up. But I never get all of the hair up. And when L. double checks my work she always uses 2-3 more sheets to complete the job I thought I sufficiently finished.
* Shaving without leaving a stray long ass hair on my neck. Or a small collection of hairs on the under side of my jawline.
* Knowing where anything is in the house. I cannot find the can of tomato sauce L. wants from the cupboard, or where the hell our extra pillow cases are at, or where we keep headache medicine. But I can always find the ketchup, my wine key and I am pretty good at knowing where our plates are, though sometimes I open the wrong cupboard door for some reason.
* Washing L.'s clothes without shrinking something expensive and that fit her perfectly, and that was the best pair of pants/sweater/dress she owned.
* Moving stuff off the counter top before wiping it off. Instead, I employ the move crap around as I am wiping and basically all I do is move around the dirt and food crumbs.
* Turning off my closet light. And I never realize I forgot until I turn my bedside lamp off and there is light coming from my closet area and I have to get out of bed to turn it off. Very frustrating.
* Vacuuming the rug. I run the vacuum over the thing 3-4 times. And once I turn the machine off and move to the next rug L. tells me I have to re-vacuum because I did not do it right the first time. I do not understand this, as there are no other buttons on the machine except the "on" button. And when I am pushing the machine on the rug, the motor is running and my dog is attacking it, so I know I pushed that button correctly. Still, it does not pick anything up and I ultimately feel like it is a waste of my time trying to vacuum.
* Cleaning glass with the blue stuff. I spray it on and wipe it off, but all that happens is messy, cloudy streaks appear that are worse looking than the dried glass circles that were on the tabletop when I began. Not sure how to make glass cleaning actually make the glass look clean. Same goes for bathroom mirrors.
* Flipping an egg that I am trying to cook over easy. The yolk busts every time and I have to call an audible, making scrambled eggs instead.
* Finding the correct lid to the tupperware piece I am using. I do not understand why we cannot have just one size of tupperware that fits only 1 lid. We have 5 different types, and it always takes me to the 5th lid before I find the one that fits.
* Getting the dirty dishes to fit into the dishwasher. I am good at rinsing and scrubbing the dishes by hand, but I put them into the dishwasher and still have 3 bowls, 4 cups and an assortment of wooden/serving spoons that do not fit. I put the powerball gel pack in the machine, but before I can turn it on L. takes everything out of the dishwasher, puts it back in, and suddenly everything fits. I do not understand how this works.