Monday, March 2, 2009

27) Random Facts

25 random facts about Hardy…

1)When I was in 2nd grade our teacher asked, “If you are trapped on a deserted island and can only have 1 meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?” I wrote down: Cheese Enchiladas… How wrong I was.

2) I cannot control myself around these foods: Pizza, Tomato Basil Soup from La Madeleine, BBQ Ribs, Onion Rings, Flaming Hot Cheetohs.

3) Some people call me a movie snob, but they are wrong. I just have a low threshold for movies that are complete shyte.

4) I used to love my cats. Now they annoy me.

5) There are people in Tyler who question my heterosexuality because I like to read, write, drink wine and I have a miniature dachshund.

6) I love L. for many reasons. One of them: she believed in me enough to buy me a laptop when I told her I wanted to devote my life to writing.

7) I am not afraid of getting older, but have not come to terms with death yet.

8) Not concerned with how much I like to drink. The thought of a bottle of wine on the weekend can get me through the toughest of weeks.

9) When I hear music I listened to growing up it makes me laugh. Most of it is bad and I remember exhausting my friends and family by forcing them to listen. I will say this, though: I still stand by Rush, Yes, Jethro Tull. Not so much Styx, 311, Neil Diamond.

10) I used drank every night of the week. I am thankful that part of my life is over.

11) Katrina once said that she and I are the 2 funniest people in the world. I completely agree.

12) I loved playing in the band, but did not always feel comfortable playing on a stage in front of people…however, the more people there were the more comfortable I felt.

13) I do not like dressing up for Halloween, yet every year I get humiliating pictures taken of me wearing something that makes me look stupid.

14) I love my wiener dog, but think my wife’s love for the thing is slightly insane.

15) I like to make chicken noises right before taking a photograph of people. It is the only way to get an authentic smile.

16) I eventually want to have kids, but am not looking forward to the baby years. I would like to fast forward to the age when they argue with everything and can occasionally entertain themselves.

17) I believe my family is the strangest in the world. So strange, in fact, I cannot see how I came out being any sort of normal.

18) In junior high Chris and I started a lawn mowing business and got screwed by this Arabian guy who only paid us $35 for mowing a 2 acre lot that was over grown beyond belief. It took us 3 days, and was the only time I had ever seen Chris’s mom so angry. In the guy’s defense we were the morons who quoted $35. But he was the prick for knowingly taking advantage of two moron kids.

19) If and when I publish a novel it will be under a pen name: Alexander Mori.

20) The lakehouse may be the only place I feel personal reverence. Many important memories come from there…

21) In high school we used to sit on my roof late at night when my family was not home. Among the things we did to entertain ourselves on the roof: Discuss song lyrics, smoke many cigarettes, pee without falling off, write poetry in the moonlight, look at the globe (which Chris could not see), and once we ran the length of the house.

22) The worst year of my life occurred my second year of college when I moved back to Houston and lived with my mom. Last year was my best. I expect each to get better from here on out.

23) The worst job I ever had was the summer I worked for the TXDOT. Among the things I did at this job: pick up dead dog carcasses (1032’s), fill pot holes on busy streets, spray weeds on steep embankments, trim trees off the feeders, hang out at Ned’s house playing guitar, listening to Johnson yell obscenities at women, throw rubber rings at cones for points, run bums out from underpasses using a pitchfork. At the end of each work day Craig and I drank 1 or 2 forties while listening to The Beatles and playing basketball on the play station 2.

24) I have been called many things throughout the years. Here are a few I remember: hardebega, hardly, hardy har har stennis tennis bumblebutt Boydston, hardsababula (this one never made sense to me), hard boy, Jesus, Flumley, Hardyman, Harvey Boydstein, Boydfogger, Hammy.

25) I get into arguments with my dad about evolution, and he worries that I will go to hell for thinking we descended from monkeys…even though I try to explain to him this is not the essence or the reality of evolution.

1 comment:

Tess said...

3) I can totally hear you say "shyte".

11) You really are very funny.


22) I am so happy to hear this was your best year yet.

23) I still think of that 1032 thing every time I see roadkill