Kingfisher: A Small Account of the Struggle (1)

The Formation:

Craig called me on my office phone and asked me how interested I would be in joining a band. He outlined for me how the idea came to him. He acquired for a very reasonable price a 16-track mixer with 2 large speakers, several mics, XLR cords, amp for the mixer, 1/4 inch guitar cords, mic stands, extension cords, lights and other things he did not know what to do with. While storing things at his sister’s house they decided to turn her spare room into a recording studio.

Craig phoned me because he knew me to be a musician. He gauged my interest and assured me my lack of band experience would not be a problem. He asked me if I wanted to be the bass player. I am a guitar player and had little experience playing bass, but Craig’s idea of forming a band intrigued me enough to attend the first band meeting.

We met at Tiffany’s house. Tiffany is Craig sister and recently moved back to Texas to be closer to her family. Craig wore a Hawaiian shirt and a goofy straw hat, even though it was September. We sat around the table waiting for the musicians to show up. While we waited, Tiffany passed out beers and dealt a deck of playing cards with naked men on the back of them. The naked men held their cocks in their hands and posed in an 80’s macho, smug sort of way. Many of the men had mustaches and some of them wore cowboy hats. None wore Hawaiian shirts with a goofy straw hat. Tiffany laughed at us because she could see how distracted and uncomfortable we were playing “hi/low” with this deck of cards.

After everyone showed up, Craig called the meeting to order and introduced the prospective members of the band to each other:

Tiffany: Singer. 34. Single and living with her dog Maverick. Background in theater. Charismatic singer with a strong voice and an outrageously fun personality. She loves football and playing hi/low. Never played in a band before. Can win anyone over with her smile and her positive energy.

Jay: Large guy. Blues guitar and singer/songwriter. Introverted, perverted, and talented guitar player. Unemployed screenwriter. Experienced working on B-Movies, low-budget indies, and porn. Plays on an old amp. Guitar named Albatross. Nasally voice. Spills beer on his shirt. Does not feel comfortable in crowds larger than five people, but will dominate a group less than five. He chews gum when he is on stage. Always wears black jeans and a black t-shirt. Has a brown tweed blazer when it is too cold for a t-shirt.

DW: Professional quality drummer playing in several bands. Wants to make money playing music and is good enough to do it. An attractive guy who took one look at this project and knew there was no chance. He did not take this opportunity seriously, but was polite to the group.

Hardy: Guitarist changed to bassist. Out of his league. Never played organized bass before and very little experience playing organized music.

Craig: Manager. Getting his business off the ground. Many irons in the fire. Motivated. The only one of us with a child. A serious love of music. Enjoys the technical side as well as the artistic.

We sat around the table discussing our goals, inspirations and skills. Occasionally the conversation would be broken up by Tiffany flipping over a card picturing a naked man holding his penis in a humorous pose.